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Silly Craft

by admin — last modified Aug 08, 2020 02:31 PM
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Funny, feeble, and farfetched stuff.
  • Yoga Champion - "I am the serenest!"
  • How Tough Is Chuck Norris - Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
  • Optical Delusion - Give it a moment
  • The Exam - Test your general knowledge
  • Bunny Burgers - An elaborate hoax

    "We're not using bunny stretcher or anything like that, Jansen replied crisply. "It's real bunny."
    "A hundred percent?"
    "Yeah."

  • Awful Similies - The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
  • Deepish Thoughts - Home is where the house is. Age 6
  • JP Sartre Cook Book - "Rather, I now seek a single recipe which will, by itself, embody the plight of man in a world ruled by an unfeeling God, as well as providing the eater with at least one ingredient from each of the four basic food groups."
  • Tables Turned - The arrest sent shock waves throughout the heterosexual community, as one of its most popular icons revived old stereotypes that surround the heterosexual lifestyle.
  • Poor Wording - Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
  • Accident Reports - The telephone pole was approaching, I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end.
  • Men And Women - "No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
  • Cross Examination - So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
  • Who's On First - Now on the St. Louis team, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third.
  • The Agnostic's Prayer - Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness.
 By the time their number had dwindled from fifty to eight, the other dwarves had begun to suspect Hungry.
Reporter: Mr. Gandhi, what do you think of Western civilization?
Gandhi: I think it would be a good idea.
"Bother," said the Borg, "We've assimilated Pooh."
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"
I was trying to make a yoga pun but it was not working out. I know, I know – it's kind of a stretch. -- Jack
It's frog-soup night, and two frogs are thrown into a pot of water. One screams, "Help! Help! Let me out of here!". The second gasps and exclaims, "Oh my god, a talking frog!"
Stigler's Law of eponymy states that no scientific discovery is named after its original discoverer. Stigler himself identified the sociologist Robert K. Merton as the discoverer of this law. (-:
A self-addressed envelope would be addressed "Envelope". -- Steven Wright, a master of the edge of sense.
Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? -- George Carlin
What if it's unlucky to be superstitious?
Two termites walk into a bar. One says to the other, "Hey is the bar tender here?"
A little girl goes into a pet shop and asks for a wabbit. The shop keeper looks down at her, smiles and says, "Would you like a lovely fluffy little white rabbit, or a cutesy wootesy little brown rabbit?" "Actually", says the little girl, "I don't think my python would notice."
Two muffins are sitting in an oven, baking. One says to the other, "sure is hot in here, huh?" and the other exclaims, "Oh my god, a talking muffin! (Sounds stangely familiar?-)
To do is to be. - Descartes
To be is to do. - Voltaire
Doo be doo be doo. - Frank Sinatra
A Zen monk walks up to a hotdog vendor and says "make me one with everything everything."

[that's the commonly known part - there's a lesser-known follow-on...]

The monk gets the hot dog and pays with a ten.
After several moments waiting, he says to the vendor, "I was expecting change!"
The vendor replies, "You of all people should know, change comes from within."
My favorite tombstone: 
That Which Does Not Kill You
Makes You Stronger. 

Rest In Peace.
What did the guy who invented the knock-knock joke get?
The No-Bell prize.
-- Jack again		 Mother to the kids in the pool: Enough fighting! Each of you take one half of the pool and stay there!

Quicker-witted kid: I get the top half!
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