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Silly Craft

by admin last modified Jun 08, 2012 06:47 PM
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Funny, feeble, and farfetched stuff.
  • Deepish Thoughts - Home is where the house is. Age 6
  • JP Sartre Cook Book - "Rather, I now seek a single recipe which will, by itself, embody the plight of man in a world ruled by an unfeeling God, as well as providing the eater with at least one ingredient from each of the four basic food groups."
  • Tables Turned - The arrest sent shock waves throughout the heterosexual community, as one of its most popular icons revived old stereotypes that surround the heterosexual lifestyle.
  • Poor Wording - Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
  • Accident Reports - The telephone pole was approaching, I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end.
  • Men And Women - "No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
  • Cross Examination - So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
  • Who's On First - Now on the St. Louis team, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third.
  • The Agnostic's Prayer - Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness.
By the time their number had dwindled from fifty to eight, the other dwarves had begun to suspect Hungry.
Reporter: Mr. Gandhi, what do you think of Western civilization?
Gandhi: I think it would be a good idea.
"Bother," said the Borg, "We've assimilated Pooh."
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"
It's frog-soup night, and two frogs are thrown into a pot of water. One screams, "Help! Help! Let me out of here!". The second gasps and exclaims, "Oh my god, a talking frog!"
A self-addressed envelope would be addressed "Envelope".
Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? -- george carlin
what if it's unlucky to be superstitious?
Two termites walk into a bar, and one says to the other, "Hey is the bar tender here?"
A little girl goes into a pet show and asks for a wabbit. The shop keeper looks down at her, smiles and says, "Would you like a lovely fluffy little white rabbit, or a cutesy wootesly little brown rabbit?" "Actually", says the little girl, "I don't think my python would notice."
Two muffins are sitting in an oven, baking. One says to the other, "sure is hot in here, huh?" and the other exclaims, "Holy cow, a talking muffin! (sounds stangely familiar, ay?-)
To do is to be. - Descartes
To be is to do. - Voltaire
Doo be doo be doo. - Frank Sinatra
A Zen monk walks up to a hotdog vendor and says "make me one with everything everything."

[that's the commonly known part - there's a lesser-known follow-on...]

... The monk gets the hot dog and pays with a ten. After several moments waiting, he says to the vendor, "I was expecting change", and the vendor says, "You of all people should know, change comes from within."
an imaginary tombstone:
That Which Does Not Kill You
Makes You Stronger.  Rest In Peace.
Mother to the kids in the pool: Enough fighting! Each of you take one half of the pool and stay there!

Quicker-witted kid: I get the top half!

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